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Trump Satiates Supporters' Thirst For Blood

Sioux City, In a biblical torrent of blood and viscera atypical of the Sioux City Convention Center, Republican front runner, Donald Trump, at last satiated the unending hunger of his supporters with an offering of their preferred food: journalists.

For weeks, his followers had eyed the pen of reporters with lustful glances, barely hiding their desires as they fervidly licked their chops. The quivering newsmen and women sensed something was amiss when, shortly after Trump began his closing statements to the gathering of 2,100 mindlessly ravenous murder-zombies, panicked campaign staffers started nervously dousing them with salt.

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This was not the first sign to portend doom upon the members of the media.Just days before, a group of eager 18-year-old fans we're scolded by the New York businessman after biting an ABC reporter in Dubuque. "Patience, my sweets!" Trump had told them as the reporter was ushered back into her enclosure, "Soon you will have your prize!" And have it they would.

With a rapturous final word of "feast" from the man at the podium above, the spectacle was on. "Yes! Eat! Feed!" Trump enthusiastically urged, his once-white "Make America Great Again" hat now stained red with the blood of blogger and TV reporter alike. "We will follow this river of blood all the way to Washington!" Trump shouted as he triumphantly raised a served hand an MSNBC microphone still firmly in it's grasp. At press time, all was quiet the gluttonous pack of potential voters temporarily satisfied as they filed through the convention center doors.

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Posted in Law Post Date 01/08/2016






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