I was sitting on a bench waiting for a bailiff to unlock the court room door after lunch. I had my head down in my notes when I became aware of a little person looking at me. He couldn’t have been more than two years old.
I said “Hello,” and went back to my notes. He wandered off, then came back and climbed up onto the bench next to me.
“Welcome, new friend,” I said. He looked at me, then down at my papers. I was pretty sure he wasn’t a spy for my opponent and I didn’t think any more about it. There were lots of other seats available, but he felt like the seat next to me was the one he needed.
He had come into the hallway with two women who were going over a domestic relations questionnaire for their court appearance. The younger of the two spoke to me.
“He has a thing for grandpas.”
I was visibly stunned. Seeing that, she tried to be complimentary but it didn’t take away the sting I felt. Not the punch in the face I was expecting in the courthouse.
I have older and younger friends who are grandparents. Still, one shouldn’t assume a person is a grandpa unless he introduces himself as “paw paw” or offers you a hard candy. I wasn’t truly offended and the laughter from the surrounding lawyers who know me was loud enough to startle the toddler.
I have mirrors in my house, and I know what I look like. I am not deluded that I am still a young man. I have semi-current photos on my website, unlike some of my peers who still use Glamour Shots from the 1990s. While it shouldn’t have, the notion that I am grandpa age took me by surprise.
I have stopped referring to myself as a middle aged lawyer because I am only middle aged for great Sequoias. I don’t even track my age in years anymore, rather I say I have achieved level so and so. I won’t tell you the level, but I understand there is a major Boss battle coming up soon.
Lawyers are a fortunate bunch. As we get older, the things we do actually become easier and take less effort. Even counting the time it takes to verify that the law is still what we remember it to be, things are easier. I suspect that my friends who bill by the hour will never admit that tasks take less time of course.
Early in my career, a juror came up to me after a favorable verdict and told me that I would be a pretty good lawyer when I got some gray hair. There is a lot of gray in the hair I have left. Whether I am a good lawyer yet or not is still up for debate. Fortunately, I am not interested in having that debate with anyone.
Much has changed since my career started. Cell phones don’t come in a bag anymore, and they keep our calendars as well. Email has replaced the post office. Court appearances and depositions are conducted from my desk. I have managed all these changes, and will work through the incremental changes of getting older as well.
I don’t mind being the grandfatherly type. Not much I could do about it If I did. Practicing law for several decades has given me a wealth of wisdom and experience, although most wisdom comes from making mistakes. I still have a good bit left to learn, hopefully with fewer mistakes along the way.
©2023 With All Due Respect. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. Even when moot, he is not mute. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this publication or directly to him via email at farris@farrislaw.net.