We have had a lot of visitors at my house bringing gifts lately. Maybe not a lot of visitors, it’s actually the same two or three folks over and over- uniformed employees of USPS, FedEx, and UPS. And not really bringing gifts either. They are lugging Amazon packages.

The delivery people are working long hours. Our driveway is a steep slog so I instantly make a friend if I meet the deliveries at the bottom.  I spoke to a UPS guy whose day had stretched from seven to ten and a half hours during this time period. Those long days will probably be repeated until the end of the natural sequel to Prime days; the returns period.

Amazon just finished their big “Prime” sale for the summer. Unlike prime numbers, Prime sales can be very divisive.  The pile of boxes on my porch has sparked at least a few “discussions” over the years. You would think that the big retailer’s summer sale was a religious holiday at my house and we were zealots. In fairness, a lot of the packages are staples like dog treats. But a lot of them are not.

My wife is an adroit shopper. She would have been a professional and shopped in the big leagues but for an accounting injury in college. Still, she could find a bargain if it were hidden in Emelia Earhart’s shoe. In her defense, I do my best to keep up and acquit myself well.

The big Prime sale has had knock on effects with other retailers who offer “bargains” at the same time. Combined with the day after Thanksgiving, these are the make or break times for folks selling products.

Lawyers don’t have big sales days. Or sales at all for that matter. With the exception of office furniture when a law office closes, everything we sell is the same price, day in and day out. I would love to see a coupon for “buy one, get one free” wills, but the concept probably wouldn’t work as well for a felony defense. Or wills for that matter, since most of us tend to die only once and one will will do.

Super sales for lawyers will never be as popular as they are for other businesses. Now that law firms can be owned by non-lawyers, this will change. Shareholders are only interested in profits, and will produce the least best product that they have to in order to maximize those profits. Attorneys on the other hand are concerned with winning or at least finishing the task at hand to the client’s satisfaction. There aren’t shortcuts on those paths. That is not to say there is no overlap between the personal goals of legal professionals and other business owners, but it’s mostly where finances are concerned.

Coupons will not catch on in the legal field. Discounts might. When the legal field is crowded, attorney fees tend to fall for both hourly and contingent fee lawyers alike. It is foreseeable that rate reductions become part of the landscape. Hopefully after I retire of course.

It goes without saying that lawyers are stereotypically not good at business. Few of us study business at university. Most are self taught, like I was. My peers must have had better teachers than mine who is a little slow to figure things out. If you must know, that “buy one, get one free” idea was not a creation of fiction. And it didn’t work so well. I lost money on every case, but thankfully I made it up in volume. At least I didn’t have to give many refunds.

©2024 With All Due Respect. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this publication or directly to him via email at farris@farrislaw.net. Bring in a copy of this column for a free story about the time he won or lost a case against expectations.