Two Ears, No Waiting.

My grandpa used to say I have two ears and one mouth, which means I should listen twice as much as I speak. Clearly gramps didn’t know about Dolby Stereo or Surround sound, but his point is well made. We have lost the ability to listen. And we talk too much.

Lawyers ask deposition questions for several reasons- either they don’t know the answer and want to collect data, or they want the witness to commit to a position, or because they didn’t listen to the answer the witness gave. It  becomes obvious a witness says they don’t remember when an event happened and the lawyer follows up by asking a specific date that he or she didn’t listen.

New lawyers get a partial pass for this as they have witness questions outlined and intend to get through all their questions, regardless of what answers they get. Even so, there is a time to go off book in a deposition. Professor Younger said lawyers shouldn’t ask questions if they don’t know the answer. He should have said to stop asking questions when you do.

Not listening is annoying in a deposition but can be much worse in court. I heard a judge warn an attorney twice at a sanctions hearing that she didn’t care for his attitude towards the proceedings nor his tone. She didn’t warn him a third time, she awarded the sanctions.

Clients are worse than lawyers when it comes to listening. I recently spent time with a client preparing him for his deposition. We talked about what the potential pitfalls were in the case and how the other lawyer would hurt him if he didn’t pay attention. My client did great in our practice sessions and was a superstar in his deposition. For the first ten minutes. After that he had a case of verbal projectile vomiting not often seen in captivity. His expected one hour deposition stretched to two and a half hours. If it had gone three hours he would have confessed to being a witch.

Clients talk too much for two reasons. If they are nervous, no tactic nor preparation will stop it from happening.  If there is, I haven’t found it. From the initial interview on, clients often want to tell their story and lawyers get a firehose blast of information when we really want a focused trickle.

A lawyer giving a seminar on producing a client for a deposition said that if his witness talks too much, he kicks them under the table. I don’t know the ethics of this move but when my wife does it to me at a restaurant or party she has mixed success.

Other clients talk too much because they think it helps their case. It never does. My client may be smarter than the other lawyer (or me) but they usually aren’t better lawyers—I am smarter than my dog (I think,) but she chases squirrels way better than I do. Marginally better, neither of us has actually caught one. A client who thinks they will outlawyer the other side will lose that bet 10 times out of 9.

Someone referring a client to me recently told them that I will just want the facts and while that appears grumpy it is for a reason. I don’t mind being called grumpy. I prefer it to having my ears talked off.

©2026 With All Due Respect. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. He often listens with his eyes closed and snores as part of the bit. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this publication or directly to him via email at farris@farrislaw.net.