Happy new year? Blah. I happily take my place in the Hall of Humbugs as I routinely poo poo the holidays. The new year rounds off the holiday season. It isn’t that I am against festivities. Okay, maybe a little. Its more that as an attorney, I am uncomfortable with things I can’t control. A new year is fraught with uncontrollable uncertainty.

As with life, the only constant in trial is the unexpected. Being able to accommodate challenges and parry them is an exciting intellectual exercise. Parrying holiday challenges, not so much. Gifting is an unwelcome uncertainty of trying to please everyone while feigning excitement about another tie. Add in the hustle bustle of juggling work with holiday expectations and it is a recipe for stress. We barely recover from Christmas and Chanukah before we show the old year the exit.

 I’m not excited about the new year. I would be happy with a low mileage 2010 or a 2015 that had some scratches and needed new tires instead of a shiny new 2026.

On the other hand, 2025 was a disaster wrapped in a dumpster fire. The Supreme Court scuttled precedents the way the rest of us toss out socks with holes in them. Perhaps more readily.  Even the cockroaches suffered anxiety attacks. I would love a boring new year. I don’t see one on the horizon.

We appreciate the constants in life. The outcome of my yearly resolutions is as much an uncertainty as the future of my mustache. How long I keep either of them is anybody’s guess.  Either way, here they are:

I will disparage anyone who uses the phrase “67.”

Don’t cry for me Argentina, but being at sixes and sevens is a classical reference. It means that we are cross with someone, and I am cross with the 67 users. 67 is the emojiites’ effort to subsume a beautiful saying into a new meaning. I won’t have it. That dictionary.com made it the word of the year reinforces the disappointment that was 2025.

To counter the 67ers, I am going to dig some old sayings out of the chifforobe and work them into motions and briefing. That should put me in the catbird seat.

I am going to have more fun in my practice.

I made a decision a few years ago to avoid anything that wouldn’t either be a good story or a good time. Too often life gets in the way of that decision.

 In law school, my friends and I had a word of the day that we tried to work into class discussions. It was tough to get “diesel” into con law but it happened. If I can tie this into my first resolution, I will be in like Flynn.

Would a judge really mind if my motions were folded into origami? Or if I used comic sans as a font for appellate briefs? I’m still figuring out how to put this resolution into practice. A contempt hearing would be neither a good time nor a good story.

I am going to be more grateful.

This is a foolproof resolution. I am well aware of how lucky I am. I am relatively healthy and my dog is still glad to see me at the end of the day. My wife too, most days.

I am grateful to have a profession I still love. As long as the rule of law still matters, I will find the practice of law rewarding. Just when I think it is mundane and old hat, I look up at the clock from a research project to see it is 8:00 pm and I am late to get home. This happens often enough that my wife doesn’t get worried when she hasn’t heard from me for hours- she knows I have my head in the books. Not actual books anymore of course but you get the drift. She even feeds the dog who believes dinner at 6:00 is an inalienable constitutional right.

On that point, I am grateful for the notes from you, Gentle Reader. Thanks for your support. Whatever the new year brings, I hope you find what you seek.

©2026 With All Due Respect. Spencer Farris is the founding partner of The S.E. Farris Law Firm in St Louis, Missouri. He will remember his mustache fondly, whether it survives the new year or not and he likes new ties. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent c/o this publication or directly to him via email at farris@farrislaw.net.